Is God giving me signs that there will be miracle happening this Friday? haha.. I really hope so because I've came to this no turning point, where changing to another course is no longer possible. And i never thought of changing course ever since i stepped into IMU. But what slows down my velocity going further is the support i got from my surroundings. It is very disheartening when u feel that your parents is no longer as supportive as before, because they are worried you can't cope with the exam stress and syllabus taught in school.
Well, life has many "should have"s.. and it always happen to me since I know the meaning of REGRET.. After EOS 2 exam, I really felt that I should have done better if the week before was spent more beneficially, pushing myself more rather than coming back home and the study mode instantly decreased. I should have stayed in Bukit Jalil and not eager to come home, perhaps i could make a difference.
BUT, who could really understand(except those studying abroad) that a person staying in a room 24/7 to study, facing the lecture notes, eating alone, and talking to ownself as motivation? All we have to do being alone. Maybe not all of them. but i think there are some people like me became so out of the world during exam period. Initially, thinking of coming back to study will change some peaceful environment for my studies but it doesn't really work.
That particular one week is really crucial yet i think i wasted it. But i wonder what about the rest of my batchmates? Were they doing the same thing as me? Or were they striving very hard for exams..
I've learnt a lesson this time, never take time for granted and always keep ur work up to date. There is no such thing as finish whole Semester 2 lecture in a week. or 2 days. or even 1 day to read and understand. Refreshing maybe??
I took a couple days to let myself chilled and relax at home. but i can tell you honestly, since I started my paper on the first day, tears were rolling on my cheek for 5 days continuously.. This is the results of procrastination, taking things for granted, and never try to set my priority right.
I told myself, i will never water the same situation again.
By the way, results is not out yet. Above is just what i wanted to express few days ago.. And results will be out on Friday, which is not far away. Its coming already. I need to keep myself reminded, no matter what happens.. Life has to move on. Make every decision and action as the last chance u ever had and never regret and never say I Should Have....
A student will not change until him or herself has the urge of doing it.
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